The world of the Clownfish and why it applies to your marriage.

If you want to know God’s message to man about marriage, it is buried in the warm waters of the Indian and Pacific oceans.

It is the Clownfish.

The Clownfish spends its life swimming circles around an anemonefish. Technically, the godless will point to science for this relationship.  The mucous coating of the clownfish is believed to be based on sugars rather than proteins and, therefore, the anemones don’t realize the clownfish as potential food. But here is where the scientific community strays.

But we know better. The answer isn’t found in science, but in man’s oldest tradition. The anomene and Clownfish are married.

The facts are undeniable.

 The Clownfish spends his life on a pretty short leash – just circling the anemone. Why? Because the Clownfish are henpecked.

The anemone is a very attractive poisonous fish. It doesn’t like to go out because it has no friends. It’s that whole “I only got my credit card can you pick up the tab?” followed by the whole “poison-you-and-eat-you”gig.  But the anemone is cunning. It knows its act has gotten old. So what to do? It can’t survive alone, being the prototype for the insecure, attractive female on land.

So it marries the life of the party .. the stupid but attractive Clownfish. Everyone wants to party with the Clownfish. He’s was a blast as a bachelor. Always brought the beer. You could always crash on his couch if you drank too much.

But Clownfish meets anemone and it’s life’s oldest story. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy gets stupid.

But not the anemone. It won’t cannibalize it husbands. The Clownfish are the only species immune to the poison of the anemones. But other fish aren’t. After the anemone paralyzes and eats a fish, the Clownfish will unknowingly devour the remaining uneaten portions and pieces. So the Anomene lets the Clownfish have a few friends over for a beer, then devours them and makes the Clownfish EAT their remains. “Yo. Honey. What’s this crazy stuff in the Rice Chex mix. Smells like Fred,” Clownfish says. “Hey, where is Fred?”
“Fred went home. He wasnt’ feeling well,” the anomene says. “Where’s the %$&%^##@ dental floss?” 
Then the Clownfish gets a bad rap. “We’re not going over to your house Friday night,” the other fish say. “Your wife will kill us.” The Clownfish is offended by such outrageous statements. The anemone is beautiful, he thinks. In fact, anemone got their name from a terrestrial flower. And, he thinks, she’s never done me wrong. Poison tentacles my ass. I sleep with those tentacles wrapped around me every night.

And so the Clownfish will never realize what is happening. Why? Because he is aptly named Clownfish. Think of all the complicated, scientific names scientists have given creatures over the years. Yet, observing this fish in action, the scientific community shrugged and said, “What a clown.”

And the cycle continues. Both under and above the water.