Posts tagged ‘Woman’

The Ass-Tax — A Man’s Guide To Getting Really Broke With No Hopes Of Scoring

Everybody plays the fool, so the song goes.

But not EVERYONE pays that Ass-Tax.

That is man’s cross to bear.

What is the Ass-Tax?
It’s when men lose money one way or another over an attractive woman they WILL not have sex with.

There are many variations of it – like the flu it comes in many different strains.

A police officer letting the attractive woman out of a ticket. ASS TAX

A male college student helping a co-ed move out of her dorm into an apartment. ASS TAX. (A note here to the under 25-crowd, moving a chick’s belongings is the most prevalent form of ass tax being paid on campuses around the country. You spend three hours of hard labor moving shit and for what? A thanks while she runs off that night to party with the guy she’s going to nail who wasn’t around when that sofa had to be moved down three flights of stairs.)

Paying for a woman’s drinks at a bar. ASS TAX¬†

Surprisingly, although attractive women benefit constantly from the tax levy, they really don’t understand it. I had one attractive co-worker tell me that she told a male friend who was saving money to pay for his marriage that he was paying the ass tax. I promptly corrected her and told her she was misunderstanding the application of the tax. That man was giving up money for sex at a later date. Therefore, the ass tax doesn’t apply. He’s going to tag that chick down the road. Hence, he’s getting some value for that expense.

I had a flat tire where I work and there is a nearby tire store that charged me $110 for a new tire. An attractive female worker told me she had the same thing a month earlier, but they threw in a free tire. ASS TAX.

Some in the legal profession have been known to give legal services to free or give a reduced rate for attractive prospective female clients. (Check the paper work on female strippers in court and what they pay for their DUI charge they need legal representation for. Pro-bono? Pro-boner!)

Unfortunately, there are only two certainties in life – death and taxes.

The ass tax will live forever. Why?

Because men think with dicks and pay with their wallets and we’ve never been able to short-circuit that process.

November 4, 2008 at 8:27 am 2 comments