Posts tagged ‘Hair’

The +2 modifier. Or, shave your friggin’ neck, watch your ass quotient rise!

Body hair.

Automatically, any man over the age of 35 starts out with a negative two modifier.

What’s a “modifier?”
Look at a woman with big boobs. What do you rate her on a scale to 1-10? Let’s say it’s an 8. Now, rate her without giving considerations to the tits. What is she now? A 6! Breasts are a plus two modifier.

Well, modifiers can work against you.

For men, the worst is unwieldly hair. Unwanted hair on men is the ONE thing women evaluate but NEVER talk about unless prodded. When a female colleague dates a man, it’s the first question I ask, “What was the hair situation?” You’d be shocked how much attention women pay to that.

Seinfeld joked about nose and ear puberty. What the show didn’t cover is the problems it can cause in dating for older men if it is not maintained.

Here’s a few tips:

Nose hair is the most easily manageable. For $15, you can get clippers and get out the nose hair. It should be part of the routine maintenance you give your body.

Eyebrows. Monobrow. Whatever you want to call it, get a pair of tweesers and pull out that “eye hair garden” once every four days. It virtually painless.

Ears. I’ve seen some men who look like they have tumbleweed in their ears. In my office, one attractive woman wondered if a colleague had problems hearing because of it. TRIM THAT! Remember that old commercial of the native American standing on the side of the road seeing all the garbage and crying? You see the stalks of hair coming out of his ear? In some instances, ear hair can be a minus FOUR modifier. I know a woman who rejected a man she met on a dating online system solely because he had what looked to be miniature hands of hair reaching out.  Simply put, of all the places unwanted hair can sprout, the ear is single most type that results in a “the deal killer.”

And the hardest to combat? Back hair. I love Law and Order. Want to know a secret of the show? When they want to show a low-class white dude, give him back hair. I’m talking the hair sweater. Most times, that is how you can tell who committed the crime on that show? Which suspect has the most back hair? So what to do? Back hair should be shaved once a day from four inches ABOVE the elbow to the entire shoulder mid-back region. You will eventually be left with two strips of hair in the middle of the back from where you can’t reach. I call it “the hair railroad tracks to nowhere.” It’s the best you can do. It takes a minus four and turns it into a minus one. It’s minimizing your weaknesses.

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November 4, 2008 at 4:04 pm Leave a comment