For those who just can’t get enough of that minimum wage stink, we give you “Flame!”

IN THE NEWS – Burger King is releasing a cologne called “Flame” which is described as “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat.” Flame is on sale for $3.99. Flame, a body spray for men, was launched this week online and in a selection of US stores.
COMMENTARY – The cologne was a huge success during pre-production marketing to 300-pound women in sweat pants. In two weeks, Burger King is expected to release its companion “Hey, That Guy Just Came In And Didn’t Order Anything And Ran Straight To the Restroom” aftershave.

Any other old rockers out there we want to smell like?

IN THE NEWS – A fragrance company is sueing legendary musician Prince for failing to promote his line of 3121 perfume. Revelations Perfume and Cosmetics contends the singer disappeared after agreeing to promote “3121”, a “sexy scent” in a purple box. The company says it spent $3.5 million to advertise and design the perfume.
COMMENTARY – Apparently, consumers were turned off by the scent of a 5-foot-2, 50-year-old man humping your leg. The company’s next perfume – the 63-year-old Rod Stewart’s “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy?” cologne. It’s guaranteed to capture that nursing home aroma of urine mixed with Bayer aspirin.