Posts tagged ‘cliches’

Hey, I got a great idea for a movie ending … see, you think the bad guy is dead, but in reality …

We’ve seen them all hundreds of times.
So why does Hollywood keep throwing them in movies?
Here’s my plea to Hollywood Directors – KEEP THESE CLICHES OUT OF YOUR MOVIES!

*Cliche alert*
– Oh, no! They caught me. Oh, wait. It’s just my toothbrush I left behind.
You know this one. Someone is trying to sneak by a security checkpoint and they’ve been busted! Not.
In the movie “21”, the character Ben Campbell is walking through airport security with hundreds of thousands of dollars strapped to him he wants to gamble in Vegas.
“Sir. Stop right there,” the security guard shouts after Campbell makes it through the checkpoint.
LONG PAUSE.
“You forgot your bag.”
Whew. That was close. This movie almost ended after 25 minutes.
And how the hell did he forget his bag? That’s the only thing you checked in, numb nuts.
*Cliche alert* – He must be dead. I just shot him.
Somehow, filmmakers just can’t let THIS cliche die. It has more lives than Jason.
Will somebody please STICK A GODDAMN FORK IN THE BAD GUY when you have the chance?
The Dark Knight: Harvey Dent shoots Batman right in his indestructible metal allooy costume gut and Batman falls down. What? We’re to presume he’s dead? This guy has taken ICBMs in the torso and bounced back, and Harvey’s .22 caliber slug did him in? And what the hell has Harvey Dent been watching? You want to kill The Batman, you gotta do a head shot.
Mission Impossible 2: Ethan Hunt has beaten the crap out of the bad guy Sean Ambrose and, of course, left him for dead. While walking back to the helicopter that has come to pick him up, he notices the expression of horror on his pal Luther’s face as he approaches. Ethan then realizes that must mean the bad guy isn’t dead. SURPRISE! But Ethan kicks a gun out of the sand and turns around to shoot him.
The Patriot: Heath Ledger is tracking down the horrid British colonel who killed his piece of ass (see cliche below). He shoots the guy and the colonel falls to the ground, obviously dead. So then Ledger goes to kill him again and does the old “I’m-gonna-raise-my-weapon-so-high-in-the-air-above-my-head-that-I-couldn’t-possibly-defend-myself” sword manuever. Of course, the colonel isn’t dead, and then jumps up and shoots Ledger dead, who is caught off guard. That dirty bastard. He’ll get his. And he did. The exact same way. The colonel is killed when he is standing behind a kneeling and badly wounded Mel Gibson (Ledger’s father in this flick) in a later battle. Instead of just shooting the bastard, the colonel goes into a full Monty “I’m gonna knock you into next week” swing and Gibson simply does a half-ass duck and then takes his sword out and stabs the colonel. See, the colonel forgot to tell him, “Don’t move.”
*Cliche alert* – No more capturing the hero’s piece of ass.
Enough already. If you need that to keep the plot going, next script! Some women have made a career out of playing the hot-chick-taken-hostage. Take the Die Hard wife of John McLain. First movie, Hans kidnaps her. Second Die Hard movie, a group of cyber terrorists hold the airplane she is in hostage. Fourth movie, she won’t do, so the bad guy holds her daughter hostage. ENOUGH taking hot chicks hostage. Jesus. Can’t we have a hero without attachments?

January 3, 2009 at 4:49 am 2 comments

Houston, we have a problem. Our writers can’t stop recycling cliches.

In the news: NBC cancelled the Christian Slater series, “My Own Worst Enemy.” Only about 4 million to watched the show, in which Slater played a secret agent.
Commentary: I thought I’d give his new TV show a shot. I turned it on. Christian Slater was in the elevator and his supervisor said something to him. And his cohort in the elevator asked why she always repeated the line she said.
“I’d tell you,” Slater shoots back. “But then I’d have to kill you.”
Click.
That line was funny once. It was 1986 and Tom Cruise used it in the movie Top Gun.

November 15, 2008 at 10:38 am 3 comments