Posts tagged ‘Michael Jackson’

Hello, Michael? It’s me. Prince Khalifa. Pick up. Where’s my record deal?

IN THE NEWS — The son of an Arab king is suing Michael Jackson, charging Jackson took $7 million as an advance on an album and an autobiography that he never produced. Lawyers for Sheikh Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa of Bahrain said Nov. 17 that the money was given to Jackson as an advance on the book and joint recording project with the sheikh, who is an amateur songwriter. Jackson claims the money was a gift. Bankim Thanki, a lawyer for Al Khalifa, said the royal first spoke to Jackson by telephone while the singer was on trial in California on charges of child molestation. Al Khalifa wanted to work with Jackson on rebuilding his career, Thanki said. To that end, the sheikh spent millions paying Jackson’s legal fees, moving him to Bahrain and supporting Jackson, his family and entourage, including Jackson’s hairdresser. The singer stayed nearly a full year in Bahrain as a guest of the son, who serves as the governor of the country’s Southern Province.
COMMENTARY: Three thoughts, and I’m not sure what shocks me more.
* Sheikh Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa is the son of a multi-billionaire Arab king and still refers to himself as “an amateur songwriter.” How hard is it to break into the music business in Bahrain?
* Al Khalifa first contacted Jackson while the singer was in the middle of a child-molestation court trial in which Jack-o showed up in pajama bottoms and the Prince’s first thought was “Comeback!” ??
* Michael Jackson still has an entourage, or as I like to call it, the Santa Barbara Middle School wrestling team.


November 17, 2008 at 8:18 pm Leave a comment

Jack Johansen, advisor to the stars …….

Today, we get a first glance of my script for a TV series:

Jack Johansen, advisor to the stars, makes $500,000 a year by changing the past and saving celebrity morons from embarrassing real-life faux paus.



“Jack speaking. Michael? Aren’t you supposed to go to court. Great. Hey, Michael. Real quick. Whatcha wearing? Pajama bottoms without the tops? Yes. I’m sure Court TV would get a kick out of that. But I got an idea. How about we pretend this is a pretty big court case you are facing over child molestation and you could spend the next 20 years behind bars and you wear big boy pants. Check downstairs. I got them laying out on the table for you. No problem. And remember what we talked about – no grabbing your crotch until AFTER the verdict comes in.”

Prince Harry

“Prince Harry? What the heck are you up to? Halloween party? And you want to go as a Nazi. Hmmmmm. I like your chutzpah. But do me a favor. Go down to your dad’s room. See those large books he has in the bookshelf – the six volume set on World War II written by Winston Churchill. Yeah. That’s the one. Now, open it to the section with all the pictures. Look for the guys wearing your costume. That’s right. Those guys standing by all the dead, naked bodies they piled up. Yeah. You are correct. That’d make you kind of a buzz kill of the party. Hey, no problem. I agree. You’d look smashing in that Tarzan get up. Have fun. And send me a picture.”



“OJ! My man! Hey, you nut, I’m still paying off that jury from your murder trial! What’s up? Some guys stole some of your old football cards and jerseys. And you plan to rob them in a Vegas hotel with a few men you just met at a wedding reception a few hours ago? OJ. Listen carefully. Don’t forget to bring a gun.”

November 7, 2008 at 5:24 am Leave a comment