Posts tagged ‘Add new tag’

A parental plan on how to answer, “What age is the right age for your son to have a girlfriend?”

Tell him, “Women are like jobs. Once you start them, you got ’em your whole life. So enjoy your dating unemployment. Because the age 12 to 20 are the only years in life you’ll be eligible to be job/chick free. Some men have two jobs. Some are chronically unemployed. Some have the same job they started at age 18. Some changes jobs over and over their whole life. Some people lose interest in their job as soon as they start it. The point is, just about everyone gets one, so why the rush? Because once it starts, it never ends.”
Then get out a CD with the Meatloaf song, “Paradise By The Dashboard Light.”
My generation grew up listening to this song.
Today’s kids don’t have the attention span to hear the message Meatloaf taught an entire generation – hot ass don’t stay hot, it just stays.
So for this generation’s kids, get to the point.
Forward the CD to the 6:57 mark of the song and hit play:
“I couldn’t take it any longer
Lord I was crazed
And when the feeling came upon me
Like a tidal wave
I started swearing to my God and on my mother’s grave
That I would love you to the end of time
I swore that I would love you to the end of time
So now I’m praying for the end of time
To hurry up and arrive
Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you
I don’t think that I can really survive
I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow
But God only knows what I can do right now
I’m praying for the end of time
It’s all that I can do
Praying for the end of time, so I can end my time with you”

meatloaf-paradise

Are you deaf, woman!? He said he wants to sleep on it!

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November 24, 2008 at 4:09 am 5 comments

I’m done with the TV show House ……

I can no longer watch the TV show “House” with Hugh Laurie. I can overlook this is a one-trick pony show with the nature of the bizarre illnesses. But are doctors really this friggin’ knowledgable? In one episode, House solves a man mysterious illness by figuring out he was not in Bolivia as House had been told, but was actually in Brazil. And brazilian nuts have selenium and that’s what cause his illness. Where’d House intern – Planters? And can I get him on my PPO? Hey, House, if you are that friggin’ smart why not set your sights on Herpes or Male Pattern Baldness, something the would benefit the common man. Jackass.

November 6, 2008 at 4:50 am 3 comments