Owner of foul-mouthed cockatoo fined for mouthy bird; Owner has no comment, bird says, “This is complete bullshit!”
WARWICK, R.I. (AP) — The owner of a foul-mouthed cockatoo in Rhode Island who was slapped with a $15 fine for violating a noise ordinance is appealing.
The Providence Journal reports (bit.ly/RUIVG4) that Warwick resident Lynne Taylor is appealing to a state court a fine imposed by a municipal judge. The judge said Taylor had broken a local law that prohibits residents from letting their pets habitually howl, bark or make other noise.
Taylor’s lawyer says the ordinance is unconstitutional because it gives no parameters for what noise constitutes a violation. He notes the statute says that if someone is annoyed, it’s a public nuisance.
A neighbor accused Taylor’s bird of parroting vulgar phrases, cursing and loudly speaking expletives. The neighbor lives with Taylor’s ex-husband.
Information from: The Providence Journal,HTTP://WWW.PROVIDENCEJOURNAL.COM
IN THE NEWS – Apple Inc. apologized April 23 for selling Baby Shaker, an iPhone application that let users silence an imaginary crying infant by shaking the multimedia device. The 99-cent “app” was removed from Apple’s online store April 22, two days after it debuted (although it endures on YouTube). Outraged child-welfare groups that decried it as “horrifying” and “reckless” demanded an apology – which they finally got.
COMMENTARY – Can Steve Jobs die so he can roll over in his grave? Apology accepted, Apple. In other news, Apple released it’s next line of iPhone apps: Euthanize Nana – where users can “pull the plug” on a senile granny by hitting the ‘end call’ button.
We’ve all gotten the email, text mail or even the old fashioned scribbled note that says, “i luv u”
Men. When you see that, run for your life.
It’s from the “Hot Chick” and she’s out to use you like a tampon. You’re there to stop the bleeding then quickly discarded.
There are differing variations of how Hot Chick bastardizes the phrase “I love you” to strip it of any meaning.
There’s “luv,” signed Hot Chick (translation: thanks for the $20)
There’s “luv u,” signed Hot Chick (translation: thanks for the $200)
And there’s “i luv you,” signed Hot Chick (translation: thanks for helping me move my large u-Haul worth of crap 120 miles to my new town, I owe you a beer we both know I’ll never come close to buying you.)
Notice how in the last version, not one of those words is properly punctuated or spelled correctly.
That’s not by mistake.
Women know the power of the word “love.” It means everything to them. And they don’t throw it around lightly.
The “I Love You” guy gets blow jobs.
The ‘i luv u” guy gets 2 a.m. sobbing phone calls from Hot Chick detailing the latest argument with I Love You Guy.
The “I Love You” guy gets to go out to the bars with Hot Chick who is all over him.
The “i luv u” guy gets set up with Hot Chicks 280-pound Girlfriend.
In the end, “luv” means you get all the headaches, whining and expenses – just without the sex.
So what’s the point?
Mark Fidrych died while working on his truck.
“….OK, just sit back and enjoy your flight, we’ll be at 10,000 feet momentarily and the weather at our destination is going to be warm and – AHHGHT! ….”
IN THE NEWS: A passenger landed a twin-engine plane in Florida after the pilot died in flight with a total of six people on board. Federal Aviation Administration officials say the pilot died after takeoff from an airport in Naples on April 12. It was on autopilot and climbing toward 10,000 feet when the pilot died.
The passenger who took over is licensed for single-engine planes but isn’t certified to fly the larger King Air craft.
An air traffic controller helped the passanger down by calling a friend in Connecticut who knows the King Air plane and relaying instructions. The plane landed safely at Southwest Florida International Airport in Fort Myers.
COMMENTARY – Didn’t I see this on Laverne and Shirley? Yes, I did. It was a 1977 episode entitled, “Airport ’59.”
Laverne flies and Shirley navigates. Spoiler alert: they live.
Here’s my amazement with this show … it was horrible TV, neither chick was remotely doable and yet it lasted eight years. Amazing. I mean if it was remade today, Laverne would be played by Paris Hilton and Shirley would be Lindsey Lohan.
In 1982, there was even a cartoon of the show as part of the “Mork & Mindy/Laverne & Shirley/Fonz Hour.” My favorite Laverne & Shirley cartoon episode? It was the one where the cartoon Laverne is upset when she learns cartoon Mork gave her “the clap.”